Cynthia Harrison

The wine glass is finally empty forever. I may have mentioned this a time or two 🙂 I don’t miss wine as much as I miss my formerly sharp memory. My once lightening-like energy. My superior health. All of these things I miss…when I had them, I didn’t appreciate them. When I thought about slowing down, I saw myself by a beach, with book in hand. That much has come true. I’m so grateful.

One thing I thought would be easier to navigate was learning to live with a decline in my writing world. There’s so much I used to accomplish with ease. A book a year while teaching three or four classes was no problem. And I did write a book last year. This year I am starting Jane 3, the final in a trilogy, all over again. It’s fun, I like it, but it takes soooo much more time. I’m not sure I’d ever finish it if not for writer friends, writing groups. These people are gold.

My parents are aging too. Mom used to say we were “growing up together” and I resented her for it. I wanted a mom not a sister. But she’s only sixteen years older than I am so of course she was right. We are growing older together. She’s failing and that’s hard on my heart. My dad is eighteen years my senior and he is doing great for his age. Al’s dad is in his 90s and he’s hanging in there. Like Al, he doesn’t complain much, just seems grateful to be alive no matter what health crisis pops up.

I want to age without resentment. With gratitude for the great life I have. And really all that means is slowing down, taking my time, and caring for my health. Yes, that’s all. I have been working on my diet (nothing new there) to try to fend off the physical pain of aging. Yes, I watched another documentary about our fatal American diet. It was a horror story, but it made me vow to clean up our eating. No more fast food, microwave dinners, martinis or wine.

Whole food, shopped for by me, cooked at home, by me, shared with Al. That takes way more time than I am accustomed to spending in the kitchen. Now all I have to do is engage with it in a more cheerful and mindful way. The body is grateful, the mind trails only slightly behind.